12 Hints You Might Be A Hovering, Helicopter Swim Parent
12 Hints You Might Be A Hovering, Helicopter Swim Parent
Courtesy of Elizabeth Wickham
My kids are in college and I’m learning that how I behaved as an age group swim parent has a direct relationship to their success or troubles once they left home.
In “10 Signs You May Be a Helicopter Swim Parent,” I wrote about some over-the-top swim parent mistakes. There are also things we do for our kids, that may not seem like a big deal now, but could hinder their development into healthy, happy self-sufficient adults. I heard that our goal in parenting should be to lose our job. When we save our kids from short-term discomfort or failure, we may be hurting them in the long run.
I believe there are stages in child development—and stages in parenting. We must be more hands on when kids are young, and let go step-by-step as they grow. Each child is different and our relationships vary, but we can reflect on what we do daily for our children and what they can start doing on their own.
Here are 12 things we may do around the pool that our kids should take over as they grow. Some we should never do:
ONE
We complete our child’s homework, because he’s tired after practice.
TWO
We talk to the coach about what our swimmer needs to work on.
THREE
At a meet, we find out the heat and lane for our swimmer.
FOUR
Before school, we pack their swim bag and make sure it makes it to the pool.
FIVE
We fill the water bottle for practice and bring it along with the swim bag.
SIX
We contact the coach to let him or her know vacation plans and schedules.
SEVEN
If our child has a problem with a teammate, we call the parent or talk to the child.
EIGHT
We drive home quickly if a suit or running shoes are forgotten and rush back to the pool.
NINE
If our children complain about practice, we immediately call or email the coach.
TEN
We tell the coach what events to enter our swimmer in.
ELEVEN
We tell our swimmers to talk with their coach, before and after every race.
TWELVE
We wait in line with our swimmer at check-in and tell admin what events our child is swimming.
